The Struggle

“They” say it takes, what, thirty days for a new habit to stick? I’m a slow habit breaker, or in this case, habit maker so I’m giving myself, I don’t know… 120 days. I’m giving myself four months to lock this in because I can be a donkey (read: stubborn) and I know it’s going to take a lot of stumbling and struggling for this new life to stick.
And I’ve heard it a million times before, but I am finding that making life changes really is 10 times more difficult without support. Support is the reason I think that I love CrossFit as much as I do. If I don’t show for a few days, coaches and fellow CFers are asking where I’ve been. When I’m the last one to finish a WOD (workout of the day), my fellow CFers are there to cheer me on to the end. And when said workout is done, its fist bumps and “good jobs” all around. The sense of community in a CF Box is amazing and not anything you find at most globo-gyms. Maybe a hard core bodybuilding gym is equivalent or close but I’ve never been so I can’t say for sure. There are no headphones, cell phones, or kids crying in the “playroom” to distract you. It’s you, your coaches, your cohorts, the music, and the workout. That’s it. And after an hour, you can leave feeling like you accomplished something. Even if you can’t finish a WOD as Rx’d (prescribed) or at all (like me last night), just showing up and trying is enough.
The workouts, I can do. I know that now. In March, WODs scared me, now…not so much. I might dread certain exercises like “burpees”, kettle bell work, or *gulp* Raptors but I have faith that I can get through them. Maybe slower than most and with some inside tears but I can do it. Couple that with the fact that I now I have a partner in crime for some of my weekday workouts and it makes it even easier to show up… or harder to Not show up!
I have a handle on the working out. It’s the diet that is causing the heartache now. Thank god I didn’t try to do both at the same time. I probably would’ve given up (since we’re being honest).
I’ve done lots of diets in the last 15 years: Atkins, South Beach, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Flat Belly, That 60 day one from the infomercial…none of them stick. I’m thinking now that it’s because for a “diet” to work, it has to be doable, it has to make sense to you, and you have to be ready for it. I mean really ready. Buying food every week is not doable for most of us, especially in this economy (never mind the preservatives, but that’s a topic for someone smarter). The others made “sense” to me, I mean I got what they’re getting at, but I think they didn’t work for me because I wasn’t ready. Hell, I was maybe 17 when Atkins and South Beach were big. It’s hard to commit to something that serious when you’re just a kid.
Maybe it’s my age, the turn my life has taken, or both that has made me ready to undergo this transformation. To quit the sugar, the processed foods, the fast food, the grains (oh grains, how I will miss thee), is a Big deal for me. But I don’t need to know the science to know that it is working, all I need to do is look in the mirror. I didn’t see Major Weight Loss results in my figure before I began going Primal two weeks ago. Yes, my muscles were getting harder and bigger. Yes, I saw that I was slimming down in my face and a little in the hips and belly but I’m sitting here two weeks later in pants that are practically floating around my waist. And while I haven’t “lost” any weight, my body fat is disappearing like a pat of butter melting in a skillet. I’m finding that I could care less what the scale says, it’s definitely all about how the clothes fit. And I love when people ask me how much weight I’ve lost because I tell them “Nothing” (as the scale still reads the same) with a smile. And I feel great. Of course, I do have those days where I do eat the pasta, the pizza, have a coke, or drink some wine. Like I said before, it’s not the end of my world if I do decide to consume these things because I know that the next meal will be back on track. I think Mark Sissson’s 80-20 Principle helps keep me sane on this!
All my hard work is paying off *Happy dance*! But I know I’m not out of the woods yet. My goal is not to be skinny, blech. My goal is to be Fit. My goal is to be Healthy. My goal is to feel great Naked. My goal is to be Happy. I know I’m getting there. Slowly but surely, I’m getting there. *I just checked myself out in the mirror, I’m definitely getting there*

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